The point of this entry is supposed to be that I tell you a secret of how to have a happy marriage while dealing with an illness. Ya, “is supposed to be…” it sure is hard to pull that off – I don’t know the secret and I don’t know if there even is one. Life gets VERY complicated when someone is dealing with an illness – sure when you write about it it’s one thing – you can sort of “be in character” and put on whatever facade you wish. You can appear to be STRONG, positive – always looking on the bright side. It’s easy to fool people (my readers (I should say ;)).
But it’s another thing to BE in this un-edited life with a daily struggle just to get out of bed, wash yourself, get dressed…. ADD a kid to this picture PLUS all the chores to get them out of bed, washed and dressed…. and it’s not even 8am yet! My point is, when you’re faced with physical weakness or pain or any kind of disability, for that matter, you don’t have your HAPPY face on all the time – it might appear once a while – but if you’re not on some antidepressant (and there’s nothing wrong with that – been on some for over a year.) you’ve got a normal turned nasty day ahead of you.
When it comes to your relationship and you want to KEEP IT – than you have to WORK ON IT! Be yourself, but assess yourself – is “yourself” usually: angry/ frustrated/ sad/ moody/ annoying…. if so than my advice is to actually try and NOT BE YOURSELF! This is a little harsh, I know BUT – it will benefit not only your partner but also YOU will get the most benefits! Forcing a smile here and there, engaging in a funny story – even if you don’t feel like it – will actually put you in a happy place as well. PRETENDING is for kids we say – we encourage it even – we play imaginary tea parties, go for an imaginary walk in the enchanted forest – I think a little pretending isn’t so bad for adults either. Of course, I don’t mean you turn to this imaginary life now and you loose scale of reality – no, that’s not what I’m suggesting – ACCEPT, deal with the issues at hand – work it out – seek support – and be yourself too with yourself, with your husband (or wife), with a close friend and your family. You need to open up as well and say how you feel. But once a while put on a show that only you know about and pretend you’re GREAT!
Will this save your marriage? I’m not promising anything… this is just a blog entry – I am not a therapist. Between me and my husband – the “D” word comes up probably once a month. It’s scary and unfair and I’m sure none of us thought of the “sickness” part when we said our “in sickness and in health” vows. I wish everyone lots of love and happiness for the new year. I wish life was easier sometimes but each day is a test of our strength and perseverance. Be good to yourself and be good to your partner – fill your home with a positive energy and take each day one at a time, and fill it with I love you’s and many many kisses.
Happy New Year from Lifeologia.
Blogger, Recipe Developer, Photographer and Author. Loves healthy food, photography, sunshine and dancing in the kitchen with her two daughters. 
I love this entry, and I admire you both for your fortitude. I’ve lost a relationship that meant a lot of me to illness, and I know it isn’t easy, but I am happy that you are both working on it day to day.
great blog =)
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This is a really good read for me, I know exactly what you mean. Good luck to you. ;)
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