Pure Ella

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happiness is… me running

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Happiness is… me running!

This is a photo of me running today. This moment may not be a big deal to you, but it’s a big deal to me. You see, three years ago, I hardly walked. I was weak beyond belief. I couldn’t walk the stairs, I couldn’t dress myself, I couldn’t carry my baby daughter in my arms. I fell 7 times straight to the hard ground, two of those times was with my daughter in my arms, thankfully she fell on my chest and was unharmed, two other times gave me bloody gushes to my head, one of those times a trip to the ER. After that I was afraid to lift her and afraid to leave the house. My home became my prison. My life was loosing hope. I had lost control over everything. My life was a complete misery, deep in depression and suicidal thoughts.

Somehow, probably when I looked at the little eyes of my daughter, I realized that I should try to do something – anything. But I couldn’t do much, I could not even chew and swallow food (at the time it had taken me 2 hours to eat a bowl of cereal). I could not even smile or talk without my words being audible. One day, a moment of breakthrough came to me and I realized, that what I could still control over my body was what I put in my mouth. I realized that I could at least try to see if this could help me… Sometimes all you have to do is ‘try’. I learned what foods heal and which foods harm my body. It wasn’t even close to success in the first day or even the first few weeks. For every step I took forward, I took 3 steps back. It was a struggle…but I had hope for a better life than this was. I wanted a normal life where I could walk to the park and lift my daughter onto the swings and smile and laugh with her… and just feel happy.

I’ve slowly learned to stop hurting myself with the wrong foods and the wrong lifestyle. It took a lot of dedication, a lot of courage and a lot of strength – exactly what I was lacking physically and mentally. But I pushed through…

Nobody said this was easy. But it’s worth to try. It is worth to persevere, to push through and just try. Start each day like it’s a fresh start.

I learned to believe in myself and love myself again.

I had a dream to run – and today my dream came true.

This is my happiness. Me running!

♥ Ella

What is your happiness today?

Comments

  1. Congratulations! That is a huge accomplishment. My happiness today has not gone too far beyond my coffee. :)

    • Thank you so much Liz ;)
      ahem… giving up coffee was one of those ‘healing’ things I did! ;D LOL

  2. Congrats Ella! This is amazing and so inspiring! There’s no better feeling than to be in control of your health and life! Will dedicate my running session to you today!:)

    • Marisa Thank you so much! Yes, that word Control can be harmful and powerful…. I am very happy I found power in it ;)
      xo
      ps. this was no crazy run but a mere few minutes of my thrill – but it’s a start and a damn good one! ;D
      Thanks for your dedication ;) *hugs*

      • One step at a time! That’s how we make progress and keep being motivated! Great job and you can definitely smile at your new achievement! I enjoyed my “Ella” run earlier!;) Hugs

  3. Hi, Ella! I am so happy for you! I know perfectly how it feels not to be able to run … I still can not do it and it is my dream, too, to be able to go jogging one day soon.
    I am at the point where I can see that Cellcept (after 8 months taking it) won’t take me there, so I think I would just have to be more diligent over my food – I try, but it’s like yoyo every time I try … But your success is an inspiration for me! Bravo Ella!!!

    • Mojca, no worries… one step at a time… one day at a time.
      I would focus on foods for additional support and slowly strengthening your body with mild workouts. I gradually increased my level – I did not want to fall and hurt myself again.
      Be well and Be strong!
      I’m here to help if you need anything. Don’t be afraid to write to me.
      Sending big hugs ;*

  7. Awesome Ella! congratulations. i cant run on a full sprint yet mainly because my balance goes off. But i did somewhat run out of fear for one my foster who got out of her collar and dashed across the street. i somehow made it back with her in my arms, all wobbly and read to ask for help if needed. luckily, we all made it home safe and without getting off balance.

    I passed on the Hole Relay baton to you back on the blog, and this post fits perfectly with the theme already!:) keep going Ella! xoxo

  9. Ella, you are such a strong person! The story, your story is terrifying but at the same time story that uplifts people mentally, emotionally and spiritually but most of all you were able to overcome all by yourself. What an amazing tour right into yourself!

  11. congratulations, Ella! what a success and achievement for you. And how inspiring are you! I didn’t know this!

    BTW – let’s get together soon if you can. I’d like to at least return your frame! take care!