My last post touched on some baby questions that I didn’t really know how to respond to… As you know, we have one 3 1/2 year old daughter and I started to borrow my one year old nephew to hang around with us ;) He’s so sweet, that I do hope we can have him over more often.
So I do enjoy having a little baby around – on a short visit at least ;) The thing is that I still have symptoms of Myasthenia Gravis (a neuromuscular autoimmune illness) which weakens the heck out of me, still (sometimes). My lifestyle right now is quite unpredictable – I don’t know when I would have a good day or a bad day. A bad one can start with not being able to get up from the bed, or the toilet for that matter. Yes, I often fake things around here to help me carry on. This space IS a type of therapy and faking works- trust me ;) So I can’t help to think about this when it comes to family planning. I am one of six kids – I know sibling love and feel so blessed having so much family around. I wish my daughter would have a little piece of that as well…
Growing up I always envisioned myself having 3 kids. With my husband, for years even before we got married we talked about having 2. (he has one sister) And now, things are different yet again. I’ve now been dealing with this illness for 3 years and although I’ve been really hopeful about a cure with my whole diet change etc., I do feel better but I don’t really see a sign of being completely symptom free. I am scared that a pregnancy could evoke more symptoms. I’m scared that I wouldn’t be able to care for that little baby if I couldn’t even put my own socks on. Since my diagnosis I’ve been struggling with the thought that I may not have more kids. I’ve felt pain, anger, resentment towards the situation I was in. I felt envious of every growing family around me and it hurt so bad that my daughter may not have a close bond with someone that only a sister or a brother could offer.
Now I’m learning to accept things yet again. And I honestly don’t know how the future will unfold. For a strong planner and perfectionist – I’m learning to let go off the control I always felt I had on my life. I’m lucky to have 1. One that is beautiful, smart and perfect in every way. I wish things would be different and I would be on my merry way crossing things on my life list. Life takes different turns sometimes and it’s hard to adjust your sails. But one is good. One will always have important people in her life. One will discover beautiful, strong lasting bonds between friends. One will never feel alone because love will always be there.
– – this took a different turn and now my eyes just burn….
How about you, are you thinking of having more kiddos, or are you done?
Blogger, Recipe Developer, Photographer and Author. Loves healthy food, photography, sunshine and dancing in the kitchen with her two daughters. 
Sounds to me like you’re doing a great job being a mother to your daughter. It’s hard to know what the best choice would be for you but I think by embracing where you are and accepting your diagnosis are a great start.
Thank you Amanda for your sweet comment.
‘Acceptance’ is much easier said then done but it is giving me more peace with my life right now. Thanks for stopping by ;)
xo
We only have our one daughter who is 3.5 also. Growing up I always said I wanted to start with one to see how it went and would decide from there. My husband has a sister (7 yrs older) and I have a brother (2 yrs younger). We feel that we would not be the best possible parents if we had more than 1. We know that even right now Kiera is not suffering from being an only child. She has all the love attention she needs from us and she will have plenty of friends at school. I think that the bond between she and us will be that much better. I only get baby fever when I look at baby pictures of Kiera! Then she starts acting her age and it goes right out the window! I shudder at just the thought of 3+ kids! So we dont plan on having anymore and in the end we are ok with it.
Thanks Ashley for your thoughts.
3.5 has it’s rough moments huh? ;) I know exactly how you feel.
You’re so right about the focus on one being so great and how they’re not missing out. Everyone’s idea of a perfect family is different – and it’s great that you with your husband agree on this.
xo
A very sweet and well written post in answer to a question that I’m sure you hear quite often. I have one daughter and can’t imagine it any other way. She’s all grown up now, and I really think that if I had had more children I wouldn’t have the close relationship that I do with her. And for the record, she has always LOVED being an “only child.” Although, she’ll also be the first to admit that as a result of having no siblings her “sharing skills” are not well developed. :o)
Thank you Deb. Makes me feel good about having 1.
Like I said earlier, I have 5 siblings – I always thought a large family was the ‘norm’ ;)
We currently have 2 (ages 5 and 3). We want 1 more and are currently not preventing. I guess I want 1 more for selfish reasons…..My MG is great when I am pregnant. Don’t get me wrong I definetly want another child I Have always wanted 3 (Both Hubs and I are 1 of 3). I have learned to accept the good days and the bad and know I have a great support system around me that if I do have a bad there will be someone to help me. It is a very personal decision and I can understand you hesitance to do the new born thing again.
So good to hear from you because we have our own struggles to deal with – so you know what I’m talking about. Yes my MG symptoms also went away after the third month of pregnancy and I had more energy and strength than ever. So it would be nice to feel that again – of course then you quickly get heavier and bigger so it has it’s own struggles ;)
But selfish I would also be if I could get rid of the symptoms!
Good luck to you when that #3 does happen ;D xo
It’s so hard to find peace with these large choices, isn’t it? I think you’re right, just having one little one to mother is an amazing chance. Good for you for embracing it and acknowledging that.
I’m not sure what we’ll do. We just had our second a few days ago and it is so amazing to have that little newborn again. We’ll have to see what the future holds for us, and our family, but for now I’m just glad to be where I am with the people I’m with.
Mmmmm. Yeah its so funny, the expectation and hopes we had when we were younger, and how we learn, over time, that things just don’t always go that way.
If i had a dime for every time i said I’d never do something, and then eventually did it.
As for us, we are done. We have two little beauties, and while my heart would welcome lots more aies, my brain says no thanks.