I must nourish my soul…

 

I am learning to connect the dots around me to figure things out…
Figure out why I feel stuck, what’s holding me back and why I can’t spring into bloom…
into happiness and radiance so bright you could see projecting outside of me.

 

I know it’s in me – it’s been seen… living outside of my heart, body and mind before – where is it now?
Right now, my radiance is gone. Blocked, dimmed almost to nothingness.

 

Creatively I feel so powerful – but creativity isn’t power – it’s freedom, the exact freedom I can’t feel…
I feel trapped in my own walls with self-destruction mode on.

 

How much longer will I feed this misery?
I keep inviting it over for tea and sweet cake – I guess that’s what bittersweet means…
a sweetness in your mouth that tastes bitter on your tongue.
And when you swallow, each gulp turns to misery feeding your soul.

 

How can I nourish my soul and taste the sweetness like once before?
How can I nourish my soul and feel free once more?

 

I know it’s the rain whispering these words…
But what does it say, it’s not clear to me yet.

 

And yet, I know, inside these walls I cannot live anymore.
I must nourish my soul… I must nourish my soul…

 

♥ Ella