I am thankful and happy thinking about how we all connect with each other. This big world isn’t really all that big anymore with social networking sites and even (or especially) blogging. I had no idea where blogging would take me – I had a need to share my thoughts and ideas – but I didn’t realize the life-changing connections it could possibly make. I am so touched by many of my friends here in this small world. Thank you for supporting me, complimenting the things I make and do and for cheering me on in my journey through the good and bad.
One of you is a dear friend who I’ve only known for a few months but already had a way to get to know on many levels. She left a sweet comment on my apple picking post that she heard a song and thought of me…. Isn’t that sweet? She thought of me and my daughter when she heard this song called You Picked Me by A Fine Frenzy. Since then, this song has been playing in my house with no end in sight. And I do think of me and my daughter as I listen to these lovely words, but i also think of my friend who added so much happiness to my life in such a simple way.
Truthfully, there’s a lot of sadness and guilt I feel that I wasn’t there for my daughter. I could not take care of her or even me when an illness invaded my life. I thought I was done with blaming myself but there’s things/ thoughts that come up that remind me that I wasn’t there. There’s been times I could not smile and carry her in my arms. There’s been days I could not go for a walk or put her up in a swing. There’s been days I was in bed wrapped in sadness and depression far away from the responsibilities of a mother.
I am very thankful for this little angel in my life – for you I tried to get better. For you I acted normal and still read you stories although they were hardly audible. For you I sang even though I could hardly catch my breath…. I was a sad mess – not the mom I always imagined I’d be…. I was difficult to see but you picked me.
Today, I am thankful for friendship, hope, little angels that guide the way, and for believing in possibilities, and beautiful lyrics that bring tears to my eyes…..
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