Happiness is… me running!
This is a photo of me running today. This moment may not be a big deal to you, but it’s a big deal to me. You see, three years ago, I hardly walked. I was weak beyond belief. I couldn’t walk the stairs, I couldn’t dress myself, I couldn’t carry my baby daughter in my arms. I fell 7 times straight to the hard ground, two of those times was with my daughter in my arms, thankfully she fell on my chest and was unharmed, two other times gave me bloody gushes to my head, one of those times a trip to the ER. After that I was afraid to lift her and afraid to leave the house. My home became my prison. My life was loosing hope. I had lost control over everything. My life was a complete misery, deep in depression and suicidal thoughts.
Somehow, probably when I looked at the little eyes of my daughter, I realized that I should try to do something – anything. But I couldn’t do much, I could not even chew and swallow food (at the time it had taken me 2 hours to eat a bowl of cereal). I could not even smile or talk without my words being audible. One day, a moment of breakthrough came to me and I realized, that what I could still control over my body was what I put in my mouth. I realized that I could at least try to see if this could help me… Sometimes all you have to do is ‘try’. I learned what foods heal and which foods harm my body. It wasn’t even close to success in the first day or even the first few weeks. For every step I took forward, I took 3 steps back. It was a struggle…but I had hope for a better life than this was. I wanted a normal life where I could walk to the park and lift my daughter onto the swings and smile and laugh with her… and just feel happy.
I’ve slowly learned to stop hurting myself with the wrong foods and the wrong lifestyle. It took a lot of dedication, a lot of courage and a lot of strength – exactly what I was lacking physically and mentally. But I pushed through…
Nobody said this was easy. But it’s worth to try. It is worth to persevere, to push through and just try. Start each day like it’s a fresh start.
I learned to believe in myself and love myself again.
I had a dream to run – and today my dream came true.
This is my happiness. Me running!