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I created a few self-portraits! (as you already know) I have never done this but when you’ve got a lot of free time, just sitting around in a nice backyard – crazy ideas pop into your head. That said, imagine all the other crazy ideas that could potentially fall into my head IF I only had more free time – and ideas are just ideas – but imagine actually having the time to execute them. Ahhh….. Yes here’s to more days off! (although I doubt that will ever happen again ;)

Something interesting happened when I saw myself through the lens – and I’m really the type who runs from the camera (when it’s pointed at me, of course) if I’m holding it, it’s a whole other story. Anyway, the first reason why I even took them was the sole fact that I needed profile shots for my new photography website. Now I have some – although I don’t know if I will even use them – but as I was busy focused (and trying to focus) on these shots, I sort of stepped outside of my body and admired them – admired myself for once. 

I have had love/ hate relationships with myself throughout most of my life (as most people do, I suppose). And I have felt beautiful years ago but things changed for me (and I do suppose that things change). This is probably normal, but you see for me, things changed to quickly, too drastically, without warning, without preparation I fell into the dark hole. In the last two/ three years I have seen myself loose myself in utter ugliness. I lost my smile – figuratively through sadness and literally through not having any control over weak muscles in my face. Then my thymectomy surgery scarred me for life leaving a nasty reminder of the foreign invader that took my life away. Or I should say, wanted to take my life – for I am not gone and that scar isn’t really that big and my smile is almost back even if it’s sometimes only on the inside. I learned to heal, smile and believe in myself again.

When we hurt in one area, it’s like a domino effect that soon affects other parts of us – the body, the mind, the heart and even beauty. When we heal one part of ourselves, a domino affect takes effect yet again and we heal not only physically but also emotionally and we start to shine through beautifully again.  Love Yourself! No matter what your scars – you are beautiful inside and out.

{if you are curious at all how I did these shots – the photos below will tell the full story ;)
I set my camera on some cushion and phone book (I don’t think the sticks did much at all). I focused on the pillow and set the camera on timer) Hey, did I not say I had too much time on my hands ;) In the end, I was glad I did these – I’ve learned not to be so afraid of the camera (from the lens side of course) and I’ve discovered a few things about myself….}

Apparently I’m not the only one reaching for the camera on a journey through self-discovery. Check out Caroline’s e-course – Just Shoot Me Sounds very interesting. I have to admit I am swooned by her beautiful photography.

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So, hey gorgeous, remember -

You are beautiful inside and out! Love Yourself!
and if you want spin that camera around and discover your true beauty and perhaps your true self….

(ps. sorry about the late posts – my darn beautiful new website is taking up my free time – scary but so exciting ;)