Times have surely changed. Thank goodness! Women have rights, they can vote, they can show off their legs and now they’re not confined to a kitchen or the laundry room either. Woman’s role doesn’t have to be by the kitchen stove or scrubbing the bathroom floor or loading up the washing machine for it’s fifth run that day. Women now have equality with men in the social system – but do we have a similar respected equality with housework at home?
We try.
Our situation is a little unique with regards to the term ‘equality’. I work a full time job (with flexible hours that is). There’s days I work 2 hours and then there’s days I work 9. So I am technically a ‘working mom’ earning a living, providing for the family along with my husband. Meaning I’m busy and usually not able to dedicate myself fully to have a clean home and home-cooked meals everyday. Then there’s another unique difference. I sort of get special treatment on the housework front with my medical situation. MG (myasthenia gravis) is not fun at all – but if I had to pick one good thing out of these last difficult years is that it got me a ticket out of scrubbing the shower and floors!
So we do share housework.
But, boy is it a constant mess – literally with dust bunnies and with our arguing. We have a spoken schedule that never – let me rephrase NEVER works! My husband (sorry to be a nagging b**** honey if you’re reading this), doesn’t keep his word. His duties are: mopping the floors, cleaning bathroom (although that is done lately by whomever can’t take the mess any longer), taking out the trash, and cooking dinner once – yes just once a week, and seasonal chores like washing the windows and shovelling the snow/ mowing the lawn etc. Pretty simple, right? I on the other hand: vacuum, tidy up, dust, cook daily, do laundry, do dishes (lately I’m switching back to hand washing as I think it improves my blood circulation, I believe. But that’s a different post altogether ;) With our daughter, I feel like I have more responsibilities and do more activities with her, but we do share the bedtime/ bathing routine – and that usually works out well when we work as a team.
Back to our housework dilemma… Friday comes along, I exhaust myself vacuuming, dusting etc. because that’s our day to clean up so on the weekend we enjoy a clean home. But that doesn’t happen – for two days I watch the dust bunnies recollect and have a party on our floor again… I remain hopefully, don’t say a word, ‘he’s busy’ I tell myself… then on Sunday evening I can’t take it anymore – I blow up! We argue! ‘I forgot’ he says, ‘I’m sorry’ I say, ‘but…..(insert a typical nagging wife drama!!!!! – and you forgot to make dinner again this whole week too…..’
So last night as we were patching up our weekly marital housework conflict, we finally decide to put up a schedule of who does what and when.
People, it has taken us 14 years of being together, 10 of living together, 5 of being married, 3 1/2 of being parents, and 3 of owning a house and not renting to finally come up with this! The ‘S’ word isn’t done yet, but I hear good things and maybe this will actually work! I don’t want to be that so-called nagging wife anymore. I am hopeful that having a schedule will improve our communication and clean up this mess we’re in.
As a side note, please don’t analyze too much ;D
- I think that a marriage can be happier with a maid service!
- I think a man doing housework is sexy and turns me on!
I realize that every marriage is different. You may be a stay at home mom while the husband makes a living (which I am currently jealous of ;) – and therefore do have a more traditional arrangement from the olden days. Maybe you both work but have the housework flawlessly worked out (most likely by a cleaning lady), or maybe you too are struggling while trying to unbury yourself from all the clutter….
Differences in mind, how about you…
do tell: do you share housework chores?
(and do elaborate on the struggles/ successes/ tips that came from your experience ;)
(hilarious vintage ads from here)
Comments
Oh those old ads and attitudes make me cringe. I think women do more. My husband does heaps. I think our differences are in terms of technique. I can get a little obsessive and want everything sparkling. He grew up in really messy home and doesn’t see our mess because he says comparatively it’s super-organized and tidy. I’m following some of FlyLady techniques which helps keep the cray-cray down. I also agree with your two thoughts and don’t judge at all! ;)
Thanks Angela ;)
Yes I forgot to mention technique ;)
But I’m learning to also let go of the perfectionism and just appreciate the help ;)
Big Hugs!
Hi Ella ~ LOVE the old ads you found for illustration in this post. :o) My hubby and I are fairly traditional with our household chores. He does the outside and I do the inside. Although, he’s a sweetheart and will help whenever I ask – but I have to ask. Funny how men and kids can’t seem to see what needs to be done and take it upon themselves to just DO it rather than waiting to be asked. ;o)
Thanks Deb!
Did you check out the link from where the ads came from – there’s so many – super funny and kind of sad how the world was – not too long ago ;D
xo
We both share everything pretty equally but I feel I get stuck doing alot more of it than he does of course, and we both work full time outside of the home. Things we don’t share…I clean the bathrooms he does not, He mows and edges the yard and I do not. But he helps with laundry, vacuuming, dusting, dinner. I usually get stuck doing most things for our daughter but he says its because she is a girl and he is uncomfortable with some of it. Hellooo she is 3! He jokes with me about needing doing all of the on my own and I always reply with “The day I become a stay at home mom is when you can expect it, until then you are outta luck!”
Thanks Ashley for sharing what’ on your side of the fence.
I know what you mean about the girl stuff – but sometimes my husband gives our daughter a bath and I get called to deal with the privates ;) That’s a 2 minute job but the rest is like 1/2 hour so that’s one way to compromise once a while ;)
Omg those old ads kill me.
I think my situation at home is quite like yours. yes, in theory we do share the chores, but somehow i end up doing more. I don’t know, sometimes i let it slide, other times, I get angry. But i have come to the realization that my house is never going to be perfect, and so maybe letting go of some of that helps.
One thing i know for sure is that i hate getting made about life’s daily work. We all have to do it, and always have. At least things are relatively easy for us nowadays!